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There're two volumes of stories before this one, where everything is explained (well, as best as it can be). Hold on, this is going to sound silly as hell, but that's the entire point. I'm going to suppress something like 400 pages into two paragraphs. )
A hipster and a metalhead were forcefully recruited into monasteries of warrior monks and then "trained" by monk masters, who are frauds. The masters had actually gotten their powers from a environmental survival enhancing system in a derelict space ship (it is implied that the population of this planet is at least partially descendant from said space-faring folks). The system is self-learning, that is if you are exposed to, say, heat, you develop heat-resistance. In our case, these masters stuffed the two heroes into the system’s capsules and then proceeded to beat the duo into pulp, so that they would develop powers based on avoiding said beatings – like teleportation and stuff. The idea was to turn them into superhumans in order to rebuilt their destroyed monasteries and maybe move on to global domination. Due to the personalities of the protagonists, their abilities manifest better when the skunk is calm as a dead trout (which he rarely is), and the ocelot is enraged (which is also a rarity). Also, it turns out that whatever healing powers the system granted them work on alcohol (which explains why the spaceship crashed in the first place - the crew was perpetually drunk off their asses, and why our heroes have to consume huge qualities of booze just to heal).
The pair eventually decided that they've had enough, and ran away, basically reconstructing the spaceship, resulting in a city being leveled to the ground... and promptly slamming the ship into the moon by accident. They survive, hijack a barge filled with nothing but coffee beans and crash it as well - right into a civil war.
Don't try to make sense out of it, it's not supposed to make any. )